Building Connections Through Restorative Communication
Communication is key in any relationship, especially between teachers and students. As educators, we want to foster positive connections that allow our students to grow. However, when disruptive behaviors occur, it’s easy to resort to communication blockers that ultimately damage relationships. There is a better way – restorative communication.
What are Communication Blockers?
According to psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, communication blockers are go-to responses that provide quick-fixes but don’t allow for reflection or problem-solving. As educators, common blockers we use are:
– Making judgments: Labeling a child as “disruptive” or “defiant”
– Denying responsibility: Blaming external factors like home life
– Making comparisons: Saying a student “should” act differently
While these reactions are understandable in stressful situations, they hurt our connections with students. Instead, we must shift to restorative communication.
The Power of Restorative Language
Restorative language allows students to reflect on their actions, understand perspectives, and find solutions. Key aspects include:
● Noticing body language: Is the student ready to engage? Visual cues on lanyards can help assess readiness.
● Checking our own body language: Being present and getting on the student’s level shows care.
● Appreciating participation: Thanking the student for joining the conversation establishes psychological safety.
● Asking for the student’s perspective: Letting them share feelings and experiences builds empathy.
I’ve used these restorative communication strategies in my own classroom and seen immense growth in trust and community. The Restorative Practices Guide from Chicago Public Schools provides a great real-life conversation model.
The Takeaway
Next time a behavioral issue occurs, catch yourself before resorting to quick-fix communication blockers. Instead, leverage the power of restorative language – you’ll be amazed at how it transforms relationships and creates opportunities for learning. The focus becomes working with students, not against them.
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